I only had one item, so the man in front of me said I could go first. The old woman in front of me had a tight, I mean tight, grey ponytail and small glasses on. Without blinking she was watching the total on the cash register sign increase, holding out her check book. I thought, "Man, she is very serious about this right now. I bet she is very serious about life in general. But I bet she isn't stressed out though. Some people are just serious and they are ok with that." It made me laugh. She was nice. She was chatting with the cashier and I was relieved to learn she wasn't a mean serious, but a nice serious.
The young lady cashier said, "Is the address on the check current?" And the serious woman said politely, "Yes. Been living in the same house for 30 years." In her voice there was no regret or satisfaction. It was just a fact. And the cashier said, "That is a good thing." And I found myself nodding in agreement. For a long time. I just stared at the counter and nodded while thinking about having consistency, stability, a home, a long-lasting family, dogs, decorations, security... for 30 years. No more wondering where I'm going to live in the next year. No more moving thousands of boxes. No more U-hauls or storage units or pulling up my roots. "That is a good thing." she said. And I thought, "That is a good thing." I stopped nodding when I realized I wasn't even part of the conversation.
I quickly thought, "30 years is a bit long for me to be in one place though." Maybe I feel this way because I am in a constant, constant state of feeling torn in two. Like I'm never 100% satisfied with where I'm living. Whatever city or state or apartment. My mom said I will feel this way until I get my own house. She speaks from experience. I believe her and can't wait. Also, thinking about 30 years...my parents have been in my house for nearly that long. For me it is security, memories, strength, growth, commitment, love... and home. And that is a good thing.
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